Beggars can’t be Choosers

Lord, Soften my heart, change my attitude, and grow me in the grace and knowledge of you.  Help me to respond to frustrating situations with a soft answer and to not stir up wrath.  Give me a forgiving spirit and a heart that follows hard after you.  Teach me and mature me through your word.  Help me to believe true things and live the truths that you teach me.  I want to act justly, I want to love mercy, and Jesus, I want to walk humbly with you.

Have you ever asked for something only to be dissapointed with the way that you received what you asked for?  That’s where I’ve been, as of late.  I’ll ask for patience, but I hate the situations God gives me to grow more patient.  I’ll ask for a forgiving spirit, but try to ignore God’s tug on my heart to forgive those that are hard to forgive.  I’ll even start to wonder why I continue encountering situations that force me to stretch myself, and then I remember that these situations are gifts and graces from my precious Savior.  He hears the cries of my heart and answers.  He wants me to grow in the grace and knowledge of Him and like most growth, it is accompanied with growing pains.

Today, I pulled up the next Adventures in Odyssey episode, and almost decided to skip it because the topic felt convicting.  The Holy Spirit tugged on my heart until I prayed for a soft, teachable spirit and began the adventure.  My heart is not soft yet, but I can tell that God is chipping away at the tough, hardened mess that is my heart right now.

It all reminds me of when I helped demo the youth house at church.  There were random fireplaces and built-in brick planters throughout the house.  It took hours of chipping away at the brick and stone until it was comletely gone.  God is swinging the sledge-hammer at my heart until it is cleaned out and softened.  As I worked with my clay this evening, I had pieces that are a few years old and I also had brand new clay.  The older the ball of clay, the harder it is to mold and shape.  My Jesus is my potter and I am His clay.  The longer I hold on to my sin and my hurt, the harder my heart becomes.  I am ready for my Potter to begin softening this clay so that it becomes easier to be shaped by Him.

Jesus, Thank you for the work that you are doing in my life.  I pray that You will continue to chip away at my heart and soften this clay of Yours.  Forgive my stubborness and help me to not complain for the ways that you choose to grow me.  I want to accept the gifts you give me, especially the hard gifts that are answers to my pleas.  Thank you for answering my begs and pleas and for the gifts you give to help me grow.

Gifts:

The Holy Spirit and His convicting nudges on my heart

The way that God allows a truth I need to learn to seep into my heart from a variety of sources

A forgiving Savior to model

A forgiving husband to lead me in the lifestyle of grace and forgiveness

Worship music to praise His name and to cry out to Him

Encouraging women to give life to my soul

Sweet littles to cuddle and hold

Special birthday blessings, treats, and surprises

Each day I get with the ones I love most

Digital Date Nights with Lovey

Clean Laundry

Braided Hair

Painted Nails

Pinterest Inspiration

Adventures in Odyssey Episodes online for free

The Anticipation of Exciting things to come

The opportunities for my sweet husband following graduation and the opportunity to support him and sacrifice my desires for him

Cuddles with my sweet Lovey and a relaxing birthday weekend

Our Church Family that we’ve grown up around

Creativity

Chick-fil-a dates for nearly free with our first 100 passes

Painting

Christmas Music

Playing Games

Warm, Snuggly Blankets on Crisp, Snowy Mornings

Chilly, Snowy October days mixed in with Warm, Sunny afternoons and the occasional, ‘typical’ fall day in the 60’s with a little sun and crisp air

Our amazing wedding video that captures our day so well that I re-watch ALL the time

A best friend and kindred spirit

Getting to see my husband every day of the week for a while \?